Tears - A Divine Gift

By: Shazia Yousuf

I prayed. I prayed even harder as the days passed. Day and night I kept asking Him, pleading my case, beckoning Him to bestow His mercy and make things happen for me. I was sure what I was asking for, was what I definitely wanted. So I went on with my prayer, each night, each day.

Days passed, The Divine Being didn’t seem to pay heed to my humble requests. And then I started having doubts. Was I being too demanding? I wondered if I really deserved what I desired. Was I worthy of less or was I worthy of more, or did I deserve this or did I deserve that? I was now extremely confused.

 

Soul's Reflections - Prayer – Does it make God change His mind?

By: Shazia Yousuf

from: http://soulsreflections.wordpress.com/2009/12/11/prayer-3/

As a child, I had always believed in intense praying. I believed that I could achieve anything, and I mean anything, if I prayed hard enough. Of course I knew hard work was an essential ingredient for achievement but hard work without prayer was incomplete. A very traditional belief, this is what all of us know and have been taught at home and at religious classes and this is definitely the truth.

However, experiences in life gradually made me to scratch my head and compelled me to think and think harder. For instance, I had always desired to get straight As in O’ Level and A’ Level exams. I definitely worked very hard, I believe, and prayed harder. Yet I never got straight As. Anyways, my faith was strong, and I always believed God must definitely have something better planned out for me.

Other seemingly major, but actually minor events kept occurring in life. My belief remained unchanged. One experience, however shattered me, and left me in total dismay.
That event was my mother’s sad demise. It was not sudden. She was ill for over ten years, and gradually deteriorating. But her two month long hospitalization in the ICU was a life changing experience for me. I had been by her side, saw her fighting her pleural effusion, gradually losing her interest in life and finally departing. The doctors made great efforts, the entire family prayed! Prayed in congregation, prayed in solitude, yet none of us could convince God to spare my mother’s soul. The doctors couldn’t save her with their effort and hard work and we couldn’t save her with our prayers and duas.